Dinnerparty and picnic.

Soundtrack: Yo Yo Ma: Bach - 6 suites for unac. Cello

Funny how so much of and average person's social-life relies on food..

Monday we had a huge dinnerparty here, something that was just going to be the three of us flatties plus three more ppl turned into twelve people during the course of the evening... And still we would have had food enough for at least five more people. Talk about overdoing it. It was nice though, getting a bunch of current and old flatties over.


Then on Wednesday I had my first picnic this year (weird eh.. considering we're eager picnicers) with Peter at Lyall Bay. He is a nice guy, reminds me a lot of René for some reason, so naturally I adore him. :) It was nice to sit at the beach, listening to the waves and talking about all kinds of stuff. The consequence: I've got a sunburn! It's not even spring yet! Something tells me that my SPF 130 will come in handy this summer.. ahem.
Today I've actually done some work. I know, it's pretty unbelievable, but I've been industrious and have been able to start my first assignment and am well on the way. Yay! Can't wait for Mozart on Saturday!

what really matters in life

I learned an important life lesson today:
Never try to swallow your spit before the drink when you already have started the process of drinking.... Just do it all in once.
What happens is:
You confuse the two processes because they feel like two separate processes, when in fact they are two consecutive parts of the same process. The result: Wrong pipe. This can be very embarassing when carried out in a computer lab full of people who are there DURING THE HOLIDAY writing away at essays when they could have been at home in bed sleeping. Not to mention the fact that you have to go all the way to the toilet to get paper to wipe all the energy drink off the computerscreen...


My grandmother is on the mend again.. which feels a bit confusing as I've already invested quite some time in feeling down and being unfocused on my work. I still don't know how things are though, whether she is really on the mend or just hanging in there. Time will show now I guess.

...

I just wanna whine and whine, but who cares.. probably no one even reads this shit. Seems like everything I touch turns to gold these days, and all the while I'm just thinking what's the point of it all? Everything comes to an end. I'm tired. I sleep so much these days, and still all I feel like doing is sleep some more. I want to socialise, but can't think of what to say. I'm starting to hate people who say "Hey how are you" but actually don't want to know. And I hate myself for feeling down when all I really want to do is to be happy and do silly things like I usually do... I'm sure my friends find me super boring like this, heaven knows I find myself boring. Just as I found my groove again life happens.


I'll get through.
I'm gonna climb that tree in the garden some day soon. Maybe spring is not so far away, then the roses will start to bloom.

My grandmother is dying. My mother urged me to call home today, and she sais that my grandmother is sick, and won't make it this time. My grandmother wants to die.

It is breaking my heart that I can't be there to send her off, my insurance company won't cover the cost because she is 79, and they only cover grandparents that are under 75. I'll dump them next year and find someone else I think. Wankers.

I don't expect much from anyone. I know that it's weird to have your friend feel down without being able to do something about it, that's just life guys. Please don't walk on eggshells around me though, I don't wanna feel like a freak, I hate it how people can act like grief is an unnatural thing. Expect me to be a bit unstabile for a couple of days at least...

God reise, Mormor. Hils til Morfar.

I found it again

sometimes it feels as though I'm losig myself, but the storm is now oficially over! My calm is back. No more uncertainty, no more homesickness, no more sleepless nights. YES!I'm back in the game.

Drunk Happy Tina is at large again!

u guys would not believe this... or maybe you would. I decided that it was time to go, bcause I'm kinda loosing mysekf here, And Kristian insists on bringing me home! It is very nice of him, I think at home noone would careif a girl decided to go home alone. He walked me all the way hoe, like, 2 km(!) from shitty okei's to staffor, which was lucky or I would end up doing something that I really wasn't up for at all, I am sure. funny,.. I could get used to the courtesy of the foreigners, I quite like it, iin fact.
Had a good day, had Icecream wiht Anette, and then a reallu weird start of teh night, was going to go to Tarz' place but just couldn't find my way!! It was far off, I suppose it would have been better to start thgerem rather than to try and find it after drikign... I must say, this catholic church nxt to stafford, it si ringin the bell evry hour, and I'm beginning to like it. I know now when It's fullhoiw, because the bell is ringing. :)
Es friert mich.. Jtzt geh ich ins Btt.

natta. Gla i dåke alle. Klem Tina

Soundtrack: Imogen Heap - Hide and seek

What is it about some people that makes them want to create an environment of uncertainty and disharmony? I am always trying to understand the motivation behind people's actions, but sometimes I am at loss.. I had an incident yesterday that felt really degrading. I didn't even know until I woke up this morning that I cared... but sometimes things happen that I don't understand and that I can't find any logic in, no matter how hard I try. Usually I am reasonably able to put myself into other's situation...

Overslept this morning, BUT, I didn't do it on purpose! First time this year. Goodness gracious me, what have I become..
Drifing back and forth these days in all things, such as my perspective on the world and myself, the aftereffect of lots of mixed up feelings about all sorts of stuff and persons, I'm a thoroughly confused girl this weekend I think. Desto more exciting. Come 5pm tomorrow I'll not only be confused, but also bruised al over if all goes according to plan. Nothing like shooting the crap outta your friends and some random people to keep sane from time to time. (Paintball). Going to my friend Tarz' party tomorrow I think, kinda feel like catching up with that lot.

I will go photoshooting on Saturday! The weather WILL BE NICE! My poor neglected camera is screaming for attention..

gurker och fogelbaisa!

I am sure now that I'm fire. Earth stabilises me, air gives me power and water calms me down. Really.. I was feeling all wired up yesterday, and went down to the waterfront to calm down (as usual... some ppl must think that I live down there). There I had this epiphany.

Just finished my essay 2 minutes ago... still feel sick after the weekend... now have to hurry down, hand it in, hurry back home and write my german assignment.. *sigh*
Being lazy is sometimes a real curse.

ET sais: "oouch"
I totally agree.

Another day... and another one tomorrow.. and so on

Soundtrack: The Doors - Yes, the river knows

I'm all alone, but I'm not lonely, because I'm in quite good company. I realise that my life is lived through music... for example: Today i woke up to the dance-beats of Alice Deejay- Better off alone. I Walked to school listening to Air - How does it make you feel. I Walked into town listening to Røyksopp, and got partially stood up by my friend Peter (although not really) listening to Sigur Ros. Went shopping with Jo thinking about Jazzanova's mix of Fat Freddy's "Flashback". I was drinking with Geeta listening to the new Black Seeds album, and have been studying with the Doors. Now Jim is getting older, and his voice more rusty, and I'm getting slowly more tired after this weird day.

I am still painfully homesick, my heart is bleeding for some strange reason, I don't have that much waiting for me at home but obviously a part of me still belongs there. Isn't it funny how we all move in cycles all the time? We're kinda predictable.. We're sad, then we get happy again, and then back down.. and up.. I'm homesick now and so on but I know that I'll be back to happy go lucky come the end of the week or maybe next week. Why does this knowledge not allow me to skip to the happy go lucky part?? Urettferdig. I don't feel lonely... In a way I'm just missing a small piece and have to find it again. I should go down to the water... that usually helps.
I know some of the things that I miss: I miss seeing spiders in the basement, and saving them from the wrath of my mother and stepfather who would kill them without a second though... I miss being able to see Deneb at the night sky, using the arrow in big dog to find it.. I miss some of my favourite trees, the hill, some things that never change and make me sure of the certainty of life... My parents... the moonlight (This city is too bright, it doesn't go proper dark in the night)... Rain and wind, when the weather is absolutely dreadful but I know that I'll be warm inside the house... The midnight sun in the summer and the northern light in the winter... blablaBLA. Listen to me going on and on. I miss the grey book!

Cravings..

It is incredible how much sweets a woman can eat at certain points of the month! Just today I've gobbeled my way through some bee balls, a small package of m&ms, a milo bar, l&p (about half a litre), almost a whole package of pods and quite a few starburst fruit burst caramels.... I now feel quite sick. I think I have managed to calm down the beast inside that keeps screaming for more sweets, and finally can rest a bit. Trying to write my essay, and I'm slowly making some progress... I even get writer's block writing this entry right now, sure sign to get back to work!

Birthdayparties galore

Soundtrack: The black seeds - cool me down


So many birthdays have been celebrated the last few weeks... Jono.. Renaye, and this weekend we celebrated Manuel's birthday. I baked my very first cake here in New Zealand, felt good to finally do some baking! Ophelia did an outstanding job, I think we're getting to know each other now and cooperate better. It was an absolutely fantastic evening, with everyone in a good mood, having a great time. We first had a kinda big party in our flat, before we went pub/clubhopping. Nice. I bought the new Black Seeds album yesterday, when we went to the warehouse to get some equipment for baking. It's nice. :) next weekend I'm looking forward to some R&R when some ppl go for skiing. That'll be good, the plan is to finalise (or as good as) my assignment on impacts of tourism on the environment in Milford sound. Sounds nice, eh? I like the new tourism courses, they are challenging and I feel that everything is useful knowledge. Not just blablabla, like some courses are.

The wind has been really strong today, the whole house is shaking. Today I haven't even been out of the house.. We had some nice Mascarpone thingy, a desert made by our fabulous new flatmate! We've watched fight club, all huddled together in front of the comp. Just like old times, but with new ppl. Times change.

Fun link of the day: Peter Crouch in action

Sunshine - At Home.

soundtrack: basshunter - boten anna

What is it about summer and warm weather that makes all Norwegians celebrate shit music? Every single summer there are some hits at home that would NEVER make it if the weather was crap and ppl had time to actually listen to the songs, like the basshunter song "boten anna". It sucks. And it is kinda provoking that such crap should generate money for the creator. Argh.

I am sucked into a vacuum, I'm tired every day and don't have much energy. I need some rest for my soul... or something.. I dunno.

What a weekend!

Friday night was totally awesome, we went to a birthdayparty on the tenth floor, and then went partying. On saturday we started partying early again, as we were going to the ALL BLACKS GAME!
It is acutally not so hard to get excited about the all blacks, and I must say that going to the game was the absolute highlight of my weekend. Going out afterwards was soo tiring... SOOO many people in town! So stuffed, so... tiring. But the game was awesome. I thought we had bad seats, but actually they were quite nice. We were behind the goalpost with excellent view of the big screen, so we caught most of the action. YEE!

Procrastination...

I'm back to my familiar pattern of procrastination... I realise that the word procrastination is so long just because then it takes longer to write it, and that helps the actual cause, muahhah. Uploading pictures to my photoblog... commenting on other ppl's pictures... worrying about talking too much in tutorials.. gazing out the window at the harbour... searching on TradeMe... Yep. I'm back.

*Grunt*

Drunk Ha tina: ppymuahh hAhh hahh haaa..
Why is it that y can get along with someone soo much better when hy r not living together anymore??? I dunno.. I had a good night, which usually means: I drink, I dance a lot and at the end I get my kebab at cuba kebab, all good (all though they gave me carrot instead of onion today, randomm). Good luck bar is cool. I like it. I met sooo many ppl going home today, and then in the end it was onlly 2 ppl?? maybe it was the big kumara, we passed it on the wahy.. lost some ppl there I think.
Jonno's b-day today, great cake! yum!













Wo ist Peter? We tried to find him but nooo. I found Frank though. :) Tired..
Gonna sleep now.

LOOOVE

stuff

I'm confused. I just wanna drown myself in schoolwork, and not have to think about my life. There's been another shift in the world, a new trimester, a new war in Israel, new people coming into stafford house and old people have left. New lecturers, new assignments, new feelings and old feelings, all mixed together in a huge bowl that just makes the outcome of the dough hard to predict.
Maybe weekend drinking has lost it's charm to me? I wasn't enjoying myself that much yesterday, apart from the fact that I met Peter for the first time in almost two months. It made the whole night out seem worthwhile. I was feeling sick, and in a sence nobody gives a shit. If you are the person bringing others down, everyone just wants to get rid of you as soon as possible. I have seen this happen before with others, so I just took off before anyone had a chance to be brought down by the fact that I wasn't feeling good. I'm not used to all this selfishness... I feel myself slipping, that I'm developing into a new person, and I'm not sure that it's the person that I would like to become, and I'm afraid that it is not possible to change the current and float the right way. I'm going to have to try, that's for sure. But right now, drowning in schoolwork seems juuust fine to me, not having to deal with all these decisions, not having to work hard to maintain my moral, my essence.

Soundtrack: Nina Simone - Night song

Yesterday was a veery cultural day for me.. I went to two exhibitions and one concert! The day started at about noon, when I met Trav to go get tickets for the symphony orchestra. After that we decided to go see the Constable exhibition at Te Papa, a british landscape painter. After that I was on my way to the family store to look for some bedside drawers, when Manuel texted me and asked whether I wanted to go to a photo exhibition at the Wellington city and sea museum. So I thought, hey why not, I'm on a roll here. On my way there I bumped into HGL on the waterfront. Still hot.. *sigh* Gonna be a good trimester ^_^. My last cultural thing was the symphony orchestra, which was absolutely GREAT. They played music by Schnittke (some contemporary composer I have no knowledge of), Beethoven (Piano concerto no 3, beautiful) and finished with Shostakovich (which was powerful as hell, I was completely blown away!). While I was sitting there being entertained by New Zealand's finest, All Blacks kicked Wallabies' asses!

After all this culture, I met up with Annika, and went partying! Yeah! After my bad night on Friday, it was good to have a "normal experience" again. Everything is restored to normal. We got in about 4, and Olivier and Manu made food. How awesome is that! I didn't have to do anything at all!

NOW, I have to get into study mode, as Trimester 2 starts in 14 hours! I passed all my courses, AND managed to keep the dreaded first C away. Pretty happy about that. My first A+ is secured, danke schön. My hair is bright red again. Well.. I think that's enough information for now.

sunshine, blue sky and grey harbour? have to check it out...

Went out partying yesterday, such a random thing. Renaye called asking for Manuel, and before I knew it, I could hear myself say: wanna come down? Weird... I don't know her well at all, but I guess it was just meant to be that way yesterday. I miss girls.. Joanne has been gone since TUESDAY, I haven't even seen her since Manuel came home. He insists that she don't like him. And so, just to get some girly company, I invited Renaye and her bottle of wine to come visit. We decided to go out, since it was girl's night at Blend. It was wicked fun, apart from a few things: Renaye called her bf, she was drunk and he was not, they ended up havin another argument (oouch..), Ronny was hitting on Philipp's gf even though we established that she is a full blown bitch... they should be perfect for each others then (OOUCH...) (I am soo mean..), apart from that everything was great. :) I have decided not to ever drink cheap champagne again, though.

Living with Manu is Awesome though! Today he made breakfast! Just like that! I couldn't believe it...

I had my first tattoo removal session yesterday. It hurt. N i feel like I'm betraying my cute little basilisk... *sigh* I guess that time of my life should be coming to an end.

Dad's home again

Dad went home last Sunday, and now I'm bored as. We managed to do alot before he went though, but didn't get to see the south island. Next time. :) This time I got to do some of the things that I wanted to last time I went north: We went to Taupo, where we went on the Jetboat at Huka falls (awesome), we went sailing on Lake Taupo, we went to Waitomo Caves to see the glow worms and the stalagmites n stalactites, we went to Rotorua and didn't do a thing there *lol*. YHA rotorua is bad.

Got to see a lot of Wellington as well, we spent quite a few days here, I was sick the first couple of days so we didn't do a lot then. I've had an awesome time, it was so cool to show my dad around, now he knows what I'm talking about when I'm speaking of stuff ard here. :)