Hm.

It seems that with the branching out of Facebook into notes and posts and all, blogging has become somewhat redundant... Everyone knows what I am up to, anyway. And that isn't much, nowadays! Sitting in front of my computer and trying to crunch out words is the only thing I should be doing for the next two weeks, I cannot wait to finish the last two assignments! Then it's writing thesis proposal, working (hopefully) and then in July it all starts over. I think my first class honours is pretty much gone, the pressure is too hard and I don't think I'll be able to get good enough grades for it... *sigh* I guess that won't matter when I finish my Masters degree though. :) Let's hope so.

Woooow, what a long time it has been since the last time I blogged....

I guess time just flew past, without waiting for me to catch up. But now I realise that I miss pouring my heart onto the screen, instantly feeling better about whatever it is that gets me down, or just sharing good times with people. It is time to start over.

The Present:
I am a postgrad, I am now studying Masters of Tourism Management, year 1 (which is honours). We had the first meeting today, just to see the other people who will suffer alongside us.

Truth is, every year here has brought me new friends, new adventures, and I can't wait to start this year's events. To be perfecty honest, I almost think that I returned too soon. People have been too busy to hang out with me, which I quite understand. But I've been lonely. And idle. I suppose those two go hand in hand. What I should have done, is to stay at home and enjoy the company of my parents and friends in Norway for a couple of weeks longer. I remember that I really didn't want to go home in December, and I was bored when I was at home, but just as I got used to being at home again it was time to leave.. And leaving Europe is never fun, although I absolutely love it here. I guess my heart is divided. Going home brings that to my attention anew.

Two more days now before start of term. I suppose I'll just hang around the house, I don't really have anything to do before I start, so might as well just sink as deeply into boredom as possible before the stress starts.

It's good to be back. :)

Home and Garden Show

Show people are a straaange breed... personally I feel like I've had my brain drycleaned, and after smiling for 8 hours straight two days in a row I'm feeling quite strange. My job this weekend was to shut up, look pretty, smile and take people's money. It's amazing how many completely strange and useless products that are on sale, and what is even more amazing is how extremely good these people are at selling them! Who would have thought that they ever needed a thing to glue to your phone so you don't drop it? (I guess I could have needed one at some point. ahem..) And bouncing balls on a string, or a thingamadoo that cleans your windows on the inside and outside at the same time... I felt a bit like I was trapped in infomercial tv after tv-hours, but without a remote control. Eh well, bygones. At least now I can pay the power bill.

Det er også stygt å si det, men i det minste har jeg nå bevitnet det meste av Wellington's white trash - befolkning..vil jeg tro. haha. ;p


Not such a bad idea after a weekend at the Home and Garden show... hahaha. Thank goodness they don't have any of these close to westpac. Thanx Feli - I love this picture!

Liontamer (faithless)

If you place a thing into the center of your life
That lacks the power to nourish
It will eventually poison everything that you are
And destroy you

A simple a thing as an idea
Or your perspective on yourself or the world
No one can be the source of your contempt,
It lies within, in the center.
Only with mellow while your thin enough to slide through

Don't let nothing ride you.

If the sun or the moon should keel away to die,
They would immediately go out .

One.

Swallow don't make a sound,
But tomorrow has to start somewhere.

Newspapers entertain,
Lion Tamers die in pain
This Child wise beyond words
Whose tears flow without seize

When there's no where, left to run to
Let me come to you, let me help you down
For when the world, gives you tomorrow
You're gonna learn to live again

we can learn to go,
or learn as we go

Just to live, for the day
I know it's hard, to live for the moment
Just try, anyway

------

I guess the only way to move on is to really give up. Face it, I don't have a chance.

emotions

I generally hate having crushes. Nothing has changed this time, I really hate it now too. Basically they're just major distractions, that are never acted upon, and thus lead to a massive amount of self critisism and time wasted on being spaced out, imagining that everything will have a happy ending. (gloomy, me? nooo.. never). I have sort of come to the point where I can see land, though. I know that this one too shall pass, and then life will go back to its normal self. It never fails to disappoint me though, how much of a coward I am, and how little I actually think of myself. If I wouldn't pick me, then who on earth would? All these things just make me feel homesick. And homesick I shall be... with this weather, conditions for homesickness are ideal. It's moist, not too cold, sometimes one can smell the salt from the sea.... home. Excactly like home. Predictions are that by wednesday I'll be running around the botanical garden, hugging trees and being completely delirious, longing for the mountains, the fiord, our apple trees, my family, mum's cooking, the glacier, going for rides on dad's bike, late and bright summer nights (that I won't see again till 2010, probably..) , Hansa beer, football on tv, hot afternoon showers, deneb, the big dipper, porkupines sniffing around for bugs.. ok, this is getting ridiculuos. I'm stopping now. *sigh*

unmotivated, and thinking about rugby

I'm supposed to be writing my essay, the last one for my bachelor degree, about some observation stuff that I've been doing the last week. Guess what: I'm procrastinating.. I'm still a bit surprised by the rugby results this morning, All Blacks lost 18 - 20 to France in Cardiff. But then again, how big a surprise was it really? Every game they have been playing this championship I have been thinking to myself: "wow, if they make mistakes like THAT(clumsy handling errors and bad defence.. etc) against Georgia/Portugal/whatever, how on earth will it go when they meet a socalled worthy opponent?" I guess we found out this morning. I've seen so many sad faces this morning though, and I guess I do feel sorry for them. Even I was pissed off at the ref for about 5 minutes. But then again.. it's just a game. It's not like it's soccer or anything... My team is in the lead by 7 points, with only four matches to go! YAY! Bring home the gold, boys! :) HEIA BRANN!

The Play

It seems like a long time ago now, but about two weeks ago we finished the play.

Yeah... I don't really know what more to say about it now, but.. Well, I'll be doing the next year's play as well, because it was that much fun. I reckon we did well, although we had a few mishaps, and a few distractions backstage (read: foul smelling fart, on stage humour that threw us off, etc). I think approximately 200 people came to see us, which is not THAT bad... at least not for an unknown play, in an enirely foreign language, on the other side of the world from Germany. kudos to all my co-play-people. :)

NERVES

OMG... It's the dress-rehearsal already tomorrow! After all the rehearsing, the real thing is finally here. I feel like putting the rest of my life on hold while I do the play this week, unfortunately I still have to do my readings, prepare tutorials and stuff... To all my friends: If u wanna see me this week, go to the play. I don't think I'll be able to do anything else. ^_^

Tipsy on a Tuesday night

Sometimes I wish my family was a bit more together than it is.. we're all separate entities, and sometimes I just wish that it was possible to call one phone no and have them all there. Zzzzz...
Been rehearsing HEAPS lately, I'm getting tired of having nervous breakdowns on stage, I have about 6 of them a weak! Haha, Poor old character, she is a basket case indeed. I like acting though. In a way it is nice to try out a different sort of personality. Talking to my "daughther" the other day though, I started wondering whether I might have more in common with Maria Compass than I have thought of earlier. Not sure how cool that is? Why have I got to be such a fuzzy girl...
Blablabla
I'm completely high on Imogen Heap. Can't get enougn... It's making me spaced out. And I'm in such a fase that I kkeep listening to the same songs over and over again, I just suck out all the energy in them and leave them dry when I'm done. Why do I do that? One should try to preserve beauty.. I just keep listening to the same stuff till I get bored with it and move on..
the play is taking over my nightlife, I'm dreaming about it all the time now... One day I dreamt I was in a theatre in Holland, on a beach, and the people were sooo disrespectful of the actors, and it was a small theatre where the stage was a bar-counter.. ahem. Maybe I've had a bit too many encounters with the Pinot lately...

i'm melancholic. I'm longing for something that I don't know what is. Something is missing in my life, and I just don't want to sort it out. Pathetic, isn't it? I keep feeling like this, I keep nagging about it, but I do nothing.

Spontaniety is dead

It is annoying me how all people are planning everything these days... it's become impossible to just drop in on someone because one is in the neighbourhood, or call someone up to drag them out. Everything has to be planned. People have become boring.

I'm all alone in my flat now. 5 ppl in a flat, and no one is ever at home. :(

Calm sea, smooth sailing

for once, it's been a long time since I had some time to myself now. I've been unbelievable busy since I got back from Norway. I've been balancing my studies, tutoring, acting rehearsals and social life, and to some extent I would say that I've succeeded, and I feel really content in that respect. I haven't been able to interact with all the people that I'd want to, but it's not for the lack of trying, that's for sure. So, to mark the beginning of my holiday, I'm actually going to sleep in tomorrow. The last two weekends I've been up early to do all sorts of stuff, now I finally really can allow myself to sleep in! Then I'm gonna mark the assignment that the students did this week, get that out of the way, and then go have dinner with Trong n Jo. They had better not have forgotten!!! ;)
I need to find a job ASAP so that I'll be able to move and be able to sublet my room over summer. I've just realised, if I want to sublet it I'd better not put off moving till mid November, I probably need some time to be able to find someone to take my room. If I can find someone. all these things to talk about. I've been talking to professors this week, and the professor in charge of postgrad degrees at Vic seems very positive, and I checked with my government that I would be able to receive support, and I got the answer back that it would be 'no problem'. AWESOME. The first three years are coming to an end, and I'm ready to take the next step. I really should reward myself somehow for making it, although I kinda feel like i am constantly rewarding myself just by being here, by travelling to new places and by enjoying my life. I kinda feel like a 'loner' some time though... I mean, my ex is now engaged, he has a son, and they just bought a house. Talk about moving on.. And I can't even fall in love with a decent guy. It's almost as if I'm stuck in some kind of emotional vacuum, I'm wasting my best years... haha, I'll become an old hag before long.. In a way I mean it, though.

Sweet dreams

At the moment I'm dying under pressure, and I suppose I'm going to enjoy the upcoming holiday more than I could ever imagine. Of course I'll be busy as, but that's ok, I'll have time to socialise a bit at least, I imagine.
At the mo I'm correcting essays, writing my own essay and stressing over theatre rehearsals (which I LOOOVE) and a bit over the German assignment that is due this week. Aiaaa.
But anyway, what I wanted to write about was this random dream that I had this morning. I was snoozing, and took the thing a bit too far so I actually fell asleep again for half an hour... And I had this dream about one of my fellow students that I really really do not like. It was a strange dream, I had some kind of deep and meaningful relationship with this guy, and for some reason we were fighting like mad (not physically..). And amidst all this storming, the bond between us was still so strong that we couldn't bail out. I always remember feelings in dreams, and this one gave me a feeling that I haven't felt for aaaages.. It was a feeling of sadness and fear of loosing someone, mixed with love. The kind of feeling that makes u lay down your weapons and reconcile for the benefit of the relationship. And I guess I had some benefit of the dream, when I saw him in class today, I didn't have that feeling of dislike and disrespect that I usually get. He was just another guy. Which is cool, because he hasn't ever done anything to deserve my dislike... I suppose.

well, I guess it's back to work.

-Should I move?

Everyone else has decided to move out, even Anne has decided to start looking for a new flat, and I'm just thinking that if I wanna move then perhaps this is a good time to do it? Jono seemed to think so, and looking at the ads on Trademe I think he is right. There are over 400 rooms available in the city today, and spring is just around the corner...
I'm just wondering who I could get to help me move though. I've moved a lot of times, and I'm sure I've exhausted my friends to the point that it would be hard to get someone to drive for me, even if I do hire a van. This is the consequence of having moved so many times. But maybe I should start looking, and take my time until I find a place that I really feel is the perfect match? I'm never gonna be living with Jo and Manuel again, which was the perrfect flat, so maybe I should start looking for ppl who r about my age, with somewhat similar interests and a sweet as warm/modern place where they share the cooking... I'm gonna have to sleep on it. I guess I really have a the heart of a Nomad.

Harry Potter

I knew that I would be bawling my eyes out at the end of the book, if nothing else than because it was the last book ever, but I could never in a million years have guessed that I would be bawling out of pity for Professor Snape.... JK Rowling works in mysterious ways.
so finally I am prepared to spend some time and energy on the real world again. After finishing Harry Potter it is sometimes a bit hard to get back to the daily routine, and having been sick and not really been able to establish a daily routine at Uni yet has made the matter a bit more of a task. Today has been good though. I'm being slowly integrated into a routine, monday is a pretty busy day, where I have many classes and stuff. I'm starting to wish that I didn't have so many afternoon classes, it's tiring to be at uni having lectures when it is dark outside.

update

Oook, it’s then almost the end of my holiday here, I’m heading off on Friday or Saturday, and at the moment I’m feeling a bit melancholic about it. I would probably go insane if I was to stay longer, I already feel the first hints of madness, but it’s really nice here at the moment too. All is green and bright, there are flowers everywhere, tics and mosqitos everywhere (uuuugh!) and it’s nice and brigth till 1am and from 4am onwards. And what am I going back to? Loïc sent me an email that it was a bit warmer in Welli now, about 10 degrees (!), and I’ve gotten quite used to the warm weather and the summer feeling. I’m glad I’m gonna be busy as when I get home. Gonna see if I can round up some ppl to go with me to the new Harry Potter movie, anyone wanna go?! Give me a holler!

Veeery good news! I have the highest average EVER on my marks this trimester!! Two A- and one A+! And to think that I was almost sure I failed that exam... Gosh, I really have no idea anymore... I’ve been fussing about every single assignment for 301 and the exam, and have gotten good grades for them all. Maybe I have a lot more in common with the Drama-queen-housewife I am playing in the German play than I want to admit... ahem. Being at home now has been a bit stressing I must admit, with regards to the fact that I have so many things to organise in Wellington at the moment. My tutor contract has arrived, I have to sign up for training, I haven’t enrolled in Germ 316 yet and I should have had my first group rehearsal with the rest of the actors in the play this coming Sunday. And I am missing the first lecture in all my subjects because I’m in Hong Kong on Monday! Ah well... It’ll be right once I land on NZ soil, I suppose. After all this relaxation it’ll be refreshing to be a bit busy. Nowadays, I concider it an accomplisment just to get out of bed before 12pm, and if I go out of the house it’s an even bigger accomplishment. ^^ I’m suuuper lazy, just reading books and playing with the new comp. It finally arrived last Monday, and I’m still trying to get used to it. It’s a real step up from the other one. I have wireless now!!! YAY (which is how I can blog normally now.. btw)

I’m gonna try and upload some videos that I’ve made here with myself as the completely over-enthused commentor, should be interesting (=embarassing).

Home sweet home

I've been at home for about two and a half week now, feel a bit cut off from the world without internet but I've managed. ;) Been spending as much time as possible in the sun, and have been to Bergen once and been hanging around teh house and with my dad and mum and stepdad. Dad's new bike is cool! It's super comfy to ride on, kinda wish I had had the chance to ride more... But hey, maybe it's a sign that I am to be a biker babe? lol
Just finished reading harry potter 6 again. I liked it more this time around, but I'm really anxious as to how things will turn out now... *GULP* Poor sweek dumbly dorr... *pout*

And I ordered a new computer! Woha. They finally sent it, I am crossing my fingers that it will arrive in good time. Thank goodness for my tutoring job, without it I wouldn't be able to buy a new one. I'm tutoring Tourism 108, the subject that I wanted in the first place, after a misunderstanding at the faculy. too many tutors suddenly. But that's good, less pressure, and I get along well with Bob, so I'm sure it'll be good. :) And easier! Still waiting for my grades after exams, falling apart thinking of how bad the exam for 301 went and I'm reeeally nervous thinking that I might have failed... *nervous shaking*
I can handle a bad pass grade, but a fail? I'll try not to think about it.... *double gulp*

Anyway, will upload pictures and videos as soon as I have the chance! A bit stumped without a pc and without internet. Trying to enjoy myself even when it rains, and I hopefully will look a bit more tanned when I arrive in Wellington in July! Jo, your brown cheese is soon on its way! haha.

Hope you are all well!

For once, I am the lucky one!

Just sent out a mass text, trying to muster up a crowd of ppl to go see Shrek 3 tomorrow. 11 said no due to heaps of work + exams, 1 said yes... hehehehe. I feel for them all, but I feel sooo good that I'm gonna be done tomorrow!!! And then on Tuesday I travel hoooome!!!

The ball last Saturday was pretty cool. it wasn't as big as I thought it would be, but it was still good fun. :) Everyone got to dress up, look pretty, drink and all that. A bit sad that Mark was leaving the next day, will be different here without him, but he's having fun now.

I should be studying for my exam tomorrow!! I can't find any more motivation right now, so just gonna go to bed and finish tomorrow morning, as with everything else that I have done for this subject.. heh. Seems to have worked though, got an A for my last assignment, which means that I certainly will pass this subject. Good to know. Trying to get used to the idea of being a tutor now, gonna tutor next trimester. Gonna look good on the CV, but darn, it's responsibility! Oh well, pays better than folding sheets through the night. My last two nights at work are this weekend. Whay! Gonna be good to be able to sleep through every night again! And with Thomas gone, I'm not gonna miss the place THAT much.

ok, gonna go to bed now and get some sleep before getting up at dawn tomorrow...

Getting my new bed on Saturday! A real bed this time!! I'm stoked.

New Pajama!

I dig the giraffes. :) I've been typing so much today that I don't have energy to type any more, but I thought I'd share this wonderful event with y'all.

Catching up

I really miss Thomas at work, haven't got any real reason to work there any more now.. heh. I quit my job, effective of 9th of June this year. It'll be good to not have to work during nights any more, I guess I've had my fill. And with Thomas gone, I don't really like it so much anymore. I think, if I move into a house with my friends later this year, that I'll get a cat from the SPCA. An old one, that I can give some good years. :) We'll see, it's a lot of responsibility.

I've been thinking out a few things lately. Wellington is so home now that I'm not even considering checking out other universities at the moment.. hm. And I came up with this geeky list:

You really know that you know Wellington when:

- You get on the bus in the morning, and you immediately think "uh oh" because you know that the driver in front of you drives like a pig

- Someone asks you where the best place to get breakfast in, and you immediately list a few places close to where you're standing

- You always know where the closest ice-cream shop is :)

- someone asks you where it's good to party, and you need them to be more specific about what kind of party they're after before you're able to suggest some places

- you're able to find Tupelo after a few drinks

- you know where to go if someone directs you to the 'Taj Mahal'

- you realise that a guy likes you if he drives towards Mt. Vic (unless you're specificly going in that direction)

Exams are coming up, next week is the last week of studying. Goodness, time flies like always... Before I know it I'm bound for Europe. :)

A Headbanger's diary

Yesterday was the first metal gig that I've consciously gone to for more than... 3 years, I think. It's an environment that I feel at home in, I've been around these ppl for many years when I was living in Bodoe. I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting to get out of this night, but in any case I was set for a real fun night. And I must say that it was. I went with Anette and Elisabeth, both whom are not familiar with the "metal community," I suppose it's not such a big thing among "eager students." (no pun intended).

I had such a good time. What is strange to me, is that both the girls seemed a bit estranged to the concept of dressing up in black and spikes, only to seemingly worship the dark. It's just an image though. I have to chuckle to myself when I hear their reactions to the people that were there, especially Eli that thought they were a bit scary. Being Norwegian at a metal gig in New Zealand is a bit like being a rock-star, everyone wants to know what bands you've seen live, where you are from, what metal people that are from the place where you're from and so on. To me it was a bit amusing that the scary vocalist at the picture above didn't even know that Gorgoroth is from Norway. It also never fails to amuse me how they're dead scary on stage, then transform into normal boys off stage, that are concerned that their makeup is running, or whether they did a good gig and that people are able to hear the words that they're gurgling into the mike. Just another normal guy. :) I felt like home. Like I went back to a town that I used to live in long ago.

The end result is:

1. I had a really good night yesterday, in spite of talking heeeaps of bullshit

2. My neck is über-sore

3. My hearing is severely reduced, and probably need a couple of days to return to normal.

Totally worth it.