Spontaniety is dead

It is annoying me how all people are planning everything these days... it's become impossible to just drop in on someone because one is in the neighbourhood, or call someone up to drag them out. Everything has to be planned. People have become boring.

I'm all alone in my flat now. 5 ppl in a flat, and no one is ever at home. :(

Calm sea, smooth sailing

for once, it's been a long time since I had some time to myself now. I've been unbelievable busy since I got back from Norway. I've been balancing my studies, tutoring, acting rehearsals and social life, and to some extent I would say that I've succeeded, and I feel really content in that respect. I haven't been able to interact with all the people that I'd want to, but it's not for the lack of trying, that's for sure. So, to mark the beginning of my holiday, I'm actually going to sleep in tomorrow. The last two weekends I've been up early to do all sorts of stuff, now I finally really can allow myself to sleep in! Then I'm gonna mark the assignment that the students did this week, get that out of the way, and then go have dinner with Trong n Jo. They had better not have forgotten!!! ;)
I need to find a job ASAP so that I'll be able to move and be able to sublet my room over summer. I've just realised, if I want to sublet it I'd better not put off moving till mid November, I probably need some time to be able to find someone to take my room. If I can find someone. all these things to talk about. I've been talking to professors this week, and the professor in charge of postgrad degrees at Vic seems very positive, and I checked with my government that I would be able to receive support, and I got the answer back that it would be 'no problem'. AWESOME. The first three years are coming to an end, and I'm ready to take the next step. I really should reward myself somehow for making it, although I kinda feel like i am constantly rewarding myself just by being here, by travelling to new places and by enjoying my life. I kinda feel like a 'loner' some time though... I mean, my ex is now engaged, he has a son, and they just bought a house. Talk about moving on.. And I can't even fall in love with a decent guy. It's almost as if I'm stuck in some kind of emotional vacuum, I'm wasting my best years... haha, I'll become an old hag before long.. In a way I mean it, though.

Sweet dreams

At the moment I'm dying under pressure, and I suppose I'm going to enjoy the upcoming holiday more than I could ever imagine. Of course I'll be busy as, but that's ok, I'll have time to socialise a bit at least, I imagine.
At the mo I'm correcting essays, writing my own essay and stressing over theatre rehearsals (which I LOOOVE) and a bit over the German assignment that is due this week. Aiaaa.
But anyway, what I wanted to write about was this random dream that I had this morning. I was snoozing, and took the thing a bit too far so I actually fell asleep again for half an hour... And I had this dream about one of my fellow students that I really really do not like. It was a strange dream, I had some kind of deep and meaningful relationship with this guy, and for some reason we were fighting like mad (not physically..). And amidst all this storming, the bond between us was still so strong that we couldn't bail out. I always remember feelings in dreams, and this one gave me a feeling that I haven't felt for aaaages.. It was a feeling of sadness and fear of loosing someone, mixed with love. The kind of feeling that makes u lay down your weapons and reconcile for the benefit of the relationship. And I guess I had some benefit of the dream, when I saw him in class today, I didn't have that feeling of dislike and disrespect that I usually get. He was just another guy. Which is cool, because he hasn't ever done anything to deserve my dislike... I suppose.

well, I guess it's back to work.