Everyone are walking around worrying about what everyone else thinks of them all the time, worrying that they're not good enough, worrying that they are not perfect.... I guess that is the trap that I have fallen into now for a couple of days as well. Felt so homesick that I just wanted to hide under my bed and sleep for the rest of the trimester. I guess in the end it is all about how you view yourself. I used to be world champ in that area, I'm trying to find my way back to sublime self esteem. Everyone needs to feel that they belong somewhere. I'm stuck inbetween right now, it's like Kings of Convenience so soothingly sing: Homesick, cause I no longer know, where home is.. I don't know wether I belong here or in Norway, or any of the two places anymore.
Wish my family was closer sometime, all though it's a bit of a mess right now. My brother has not spoken to my mum for almost 3 years now, because she remarried. Now he is saying that if her new husband don't leave her for 5 years then he will talk to her again... That is just stupid. I'm worried about my nephews, that are too small to understand all this, and who deserve to have two grandmothers spoiling them rotten. I wish I could be closer to mum, to help her through the madness. In two months I will be home again though, missing all my friends here in New Zealand. I need a holiday now.. too much to do, and the last assignment took the energy out of me in a way.
Thank you Trav for being a really good friend these last few days. :)
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