stuff

I'm confused. I just wanna drown myself in schoolwork, and not have to think about my life. There's been another shift in the world, a new trimester, a new war in Israel, new people coming into stafford house and old people have left. New lecturers, new assignments, new feelings and old feelings, all mixed together in a huge bowl that just makes the outcome of the dough hard to predict.
Maybe weekend drinking has lost it's charm to me? I wasn't enjoying myself that much yesterday, apart from the fact that I met Peter for the first time in almost two months. It made the whole night out seem worthwhile. I was feeling sick, and in a sence nobody gives a shit. If you are the person bringing others down, everyone just wants to get rid of you as soon as possible. I have seen this happen before with others, so I just took off before anyone had a chance to be brought down by the fact that I wasn't feeling good. I'm not used to all this selfishness... I feel myself slipping, that I'm developing into a new person, and I'm not sure that it's the person that I would like to become, and I'm afraid that it is not possible to change the current and float the right way. I'm going to have to try, that's for sure. But right now, drowning in schoolwork seems juuust fine to me, not having to deal with all these decisions, not having to work hard to maintain my moral, my essence.