emotions

I generally hate having crushes. Nothing has changed this time, I really hate it now too. Basically they're just major distractions, that are never acted upon, and thus lead to a massive amount of self critisism and time wasted on being spaced out, imagining that everything will have a happy ending. (gloomy, me? nooo.. never). I have sort of come to the point where I can see land, though. I know that this one too shall pass, and then life will go back to its normal self. It never fails to disappoint me though, how much of a coward I am, and how little I actually think of myself. If I wouldn't pick me, then who on earth would? All these things just make me feel homesick. And homesick I shall be... with this weather, conditions for homesickness are ideal. It's moist, not too cold, sometimes one can smell the salt from the sea.... home. Excactly like home. Predictions are that by wednesday I'll be running around the botanical garden, hugging trees and being completely delirious, longing for the mountains, the fiord, our apple trees, my family, mum's cooking, the glacier, going for rides on dad's bike, late and bright summer nights (that I won't see again till 2010, probably..) , Hansa beer, football on tv, hot afternoon showers, deneb, the big dipper, porkupines sniffing around for bugs.. ok, this is getting ridiculuos. I'm stopping now. *sigh*