Deeeeemotivation

I am facing the hard facts... being demotivated can be pretty serious. I got a C+ for one of my assignments! I don't know what is wrong with me!!! I just have no joy in studying anymore, I get really down and grumpy whenever I sit down to do anything related to uni, and I put things off till the last minute and don't even care if it's not good work, as long as it is done. Man... this is pretty bad. I wrote an email to see if I could go see a counsellor about this, but they are booked out till end of September, and by then I will have screwed up my studies anyway, so I might as well just try and find a way of dealing with this on my own. I kinda just have to.

My thesis supervisor is just making things worse.. he is badgering me for not starting my work (fair enough I guess) but he is not giving me answers to my questions! And all the while he is just saying you have to decide this and that and I am just not at all interested... even though my topic is interesting! :'( How am I ever gonna get to masters with this hanging over my head?

HEEELP! Please.. nice, sweet universe, send me some motivation!

Essays... I thought this was a holiday??? oh, who am I kidding..

I've been trying to crunch out my essay that was due today, so far I have 1920 words, and before I go to bed I need another 80. I have decided. I have to hand it in tomorrow, otherwise I'll get 10% off, and that is maybe a bit too much... dunno what is wrong with me, I've been so unmotivated lately. Just don't wanna study at all, thinking of getting a job, getting on with life... I dunno. I am still super motivated to go to the gym every day though! Becoming so attached to my fitness diary and blog, and my trainer.. my my, what will I do when I don't have a trainer anymore?! It just makes life so much easier... To have someone who motivates me and who pushes me to achieve more. He's a good kid. It's only about one and a half week left of the competition now.. I'm getting up at 5 tomorrow to go to the gym!! yes.. I know it is extreme, but I really need to finish my essay!!! So I am writing hard out from 8 till 1pm, and then whatever happens happens, really. If I'm not finished, I kinda just have to hand it in anyway...

Oh, and the play is finished now!! We had 4 performances last week, which was pretty hard out as I was sick, writing assignments and going to the gym at the same time as having classes in the morning and performances in the evening. I don't even know how I survived that....

Bad Dream

I have this dream several times a year, and it is super annoying, and I don't know why it keeps reoccurring in my sleep! I am at an airport (usually a different one every time) and I am in transit between two destinations. For some reason I get lost at the terminals, and can't find the gate for my flight anymore. Then I need to get help from someone, and by the time I find my gate the flight has gone by no more than 5 minutes... but it's still gone, and I have to get a new flight. Why do I keep dreaming this??! It has never happened! This time I was in transit in Singapore, but the terminal numbers were weird, and different floors of the airport had different terminal numbers... and I was flying Qantas. Hmmmmm....

Haircut

For a few hours, from I finished at the hairdresser's till I went to the gym, I was looking fabulous. *sigh* At least I took a picture so I'll remember.

Grøtfest (porridge party.. heh)

Today I filled my little lounge with Norwegians, and made them Norwegian porridge, called "Risengrynsgrøt" in the native tongue. It was great! Didn't meet that many new Norwegians (i did meet one though, and Rebekka showed up after being away for months!). I guess we didn't advertise very well, but it turned out to be a very nice evening anyway with the nine of us. My flatmates even came out to taste the porridge and listen to weird norwegian words.. lol.
Really tired now... gonna have to finish tomorrow. Zzzzzz

Feeling good

Man, I haven't felt this good in... forever, I think! At first it was a bit of a hassle going to the gym, but I knew in the back of my head that I would feel better if I just stuck to it, and now I have so much energy! I want to go to the gym every day, I even sometimes want to go back to the gym after I have eaten dinner! Crazy huh..

Gonna bake a cake for Christine now, that I won't be able to taste. I guess I've become a bit of a sadist... I like to test myself, see if I am able to resist temptation. Man.... Decorating the cake with M&Ms, not being able to munch... But if I manage not to, I know how proud of myself I will be, and probably that is the reward that I'm after.

I guess I've become a bit boring lately with the whole diet and exercise thing going on. I have to apologise for that. I'll never return to the old chocolate-binging me, but I guess when all this is just everyday life, I won't go on and on and on about it anymore. It'll be just normal daily life. Losing weight while gaining muscle is a bit of a challenge though.. I'm working my ass off (literally).. ;)

The ankle injury

I finally got the verdict, but I have NOO idea what it means.... According to the MRI report, "there is a minimal area of bone marrow oedema on the lateral aspect of the dome of the talus with no overlying chondral injury. There is tenosynovitis of FHL and also some longitudinal splitting of the peroneus brevis." ?? I've been trying to find my friend Odny online for 2 days to ask about it, but I suppose I'll just have to settle for the doctor that I'm seeing today.. hopefully he is good at explaining these things.. and hopefully it doesn't mean that I need an operation!!!! *fingers crossed* I can settle for walking with a dorky shoe for some while, or doing exercises... but I really really don't want to have to give up my exercise routine!