End of flathunting

I've got a flat. It's on the Terrace! I'm pretty stoked with the location. A bit of drama tonight though, when the "dream flat" said that they wanted me to come live with them, and I only accepted the other flat yesterday night.. But after mulling it over for a while I've managed to come to terms with it. There are several advantages of moving to the house on the Terrace instead of the flat on Dixon street, and so, to make myself feel good about it, here they are (Key words in capitol letters):

1. The PEOPLE in the Terrace flat seem really nice as well, and there is a CAT.

2. There are 3 computer specialists in the flat, so if I ever need help with my comp I can just go to the flatmates! :D

3. The Terrace is perfectly situated between town and uni. This means, I can WALK EVERYWHERE! The location also means that I can easily get to the gym. And use my free bus pass when I am lazy.

4. The room at the Terrace flat has a WINDOW (the other room didn't) with a very nice VIEW.

Not to talk about how much grief it would cause to let the other flat down now. I don't want to cause trouble. And I believe that I will be happy on the Terrace. I think that you face challenges like this every once in a while so that you are able to develop as a person. I had to find out what was most important to me.. a dishwasher, or my principles? I found that my principles were more important. I don't go back on my word.

Now I have to find a moving company, and get all my stuff prepared to be moved yet another time. It'll be the first time I'm using a moving company.. it's exciting. :D Like hiring a cleaner, or ... any other act of hiring a person to do work that one could do oneself, but is too lazy to do. And my friends will get a break!

;)

Had enough

I am so sick of flathunting now. I've just about had what I can take of it, and still I haven't found a place. I hate having to sell myself, and I hate going to tonnes of places that are just shit. At this stage I just want to go back to stafford and give a shit about flathunting until november. Seriously.

Pretty pretty shoes...

I just want to immortalise them!

I need to start studying for real... I have so much to do this trimester! I need to do my readings, start the literature review for my dissertation, practise my lines for the play... Find a FLAT... *Grumble*

Midland Sushi

With a line this long, you know the sushi is good. ^_^

the gym project

I decided to write a blog about getting fitter. So, if you're at all interested, check it out. ;)

Fitness Blog

A Grey Hair

I have been anticipating this moment for a long while, in fact many of my friends already found theirs around 23. I found (or rather, my friend Christine found) my very first grey hair (to my knowledge it was the first). It was so grey that it was white. Just a couple of days earlier I decided that I'll go with it when my hair goes grey, just dye it white or something.. I just finished a book where there was a woman whose hair went white over nigth because of something she saw. Odd... Well, there it is. At 27 and a half.

Homesick, for the ..37th time?

Soundtrack: Thomas Dybdahl - A Lovestory

I am such a whiny baby. I am homesick. Again. I sometimes get so surprised about how well my mum knows me.. I was feeling kinda blue, and wanted to call home to hear about summer, sun and wonderful things, and my mum instantly just knew that I was feeling a bit down. And yes, I do call even if I am happy, so it wasn't just that I called. I finally managed to see the sex and the city movie the other day, and I guess the ending was happy enough and it was a nice finale to the show. It just occurred to me after the movie though, all their lives are soooo wonderful and fantastic with fashion, skinny bodies and shoes, but none of them seem to have any family at all??? Only once on the show was there anything about the family of Miranda, other than that the rest of them seem to have no mothers, no fathers, no siblings or cousins or whatever. It's so weird... I miss my family. And I hate the fact that now that I finally live with people that I care about again (the last perfect flat I guess was with Jo and Manu), I have to move again, and risk moving into a place where I don't get along with the people. If I even manage to find a flat that I like in the two weeks that I have left before I have to leave. I think possibly that Sean and Alex find me a bit of a drag though, being all needy and whiny and particular. And that I always assume that people find me to be a drag. I guess that can be tiresome as well.

I start school again next monday. And I start my new training routine. And my "new" day rythm. thank goodness that I start early on this Monday, so that I can't opt out and sleep in. I wonder what it will be like, working out every day. Not going to the gym every day, but making sure that I am active for at least half an hour every day, walking or swimming with Christine or biking or whatever... and studying... for some reason I think that having a fitness routine will make it easier to study though. I often got tired and unmotivated last trimester and wasted heaps of time on procrastinating and so on.. maybe getting fitter will make me more able to concentrate? We shall see....

ch-ch-ch-changes

Soundtrack: A-ha - Stay on these roads

I finally did what I have been going on about for the last 15 months: I moved out. If it hadn't been for the head tenant kicking me out, then I guess I would still be rotting away in that miserable place. So, I am now living in a temporary flat with two mates, and I must say: It is a rather large change to be living with two blokes as opposed to a bunch of girls. I like it. The flat is a bit scary though, I must admit. I hear people walking in the house all the time, I even FEEL people walking as the house sometimes shakes with the steps, but at times I find myself wondering if there are anyone else in the house at all apart from myself (among the living, that is...). So yeah, a bit scary. I just keep telling myself that it is the neighbours downstairs, and so far it is a good enough explanation. Still, I am only here for another month before it's time to move again. A bit crazy to move twice I guess, but then it felt really good to get out of the old flat. And to get into this one, even though it is for a short time only, I will miss it when I go.

I was wondering today whether my bad year is caused by my morals slacking off. I am probably just being over interpretative as usual, and searching for a cause where there is none, but none the less I will have to think it through. After all, I am starting the programme soon, and then I should have a healthy mind as well as a healthy body. I am wondering how hard it will be changing my diet, and how long it will take before I stop craving chocolate. Oh dear.. I can live without many things, but chocolate is hard to give up. Possibly even harder than quitting smoking... after all, I've been eating chocolate since I was a kid. Hm.. don't wanna think about it right now. ;)

Hm.

It seems that with the branching out of Facebook into notes and posts and all, blogging has become somewhat redundant... Everyone knows what I am up to, anyway. And that isn't much, nowadays! Sitting in front of my computer and trying to crunch out words is the only thing I should be doing for the next two weeks, I cannot wait to finish the last two assignments! Then it's writing thesis proposal, working (hopefully) and then in July it all starts over. I think my first class honours is pretty much gone, the pressure is too hard and I don't think I'll be able to get good enough grades for it... *sigh* I guess that won't matter when I finish my Masters degree though. :) Let's hope so.

Woooow, what a long time it has been since the last time I blogged....

I guess time just flew past, without waiting for me to catch up. But now I realise that I miss pouring my heart onto the screen, instantly feeling better about whatever it is that gets me down, or just sharing good times with people. It is time to start over.

The Present:
I am a postgrad, I am now studying Masters of Tourism Management, year 1 (which is honours). We had the first meeting today, just to see the other people who will suffer alongside us.

Truth is, every year here has brought me new friends, new adventures, and I can't wait to start this year's events. To be perfecty honest, I almost think that I returned too soon. People have been too busy to hang out with me, which I quite understand. But I've been lonely. And idle. I suppose those two go hand in hand. What I should have done, is to stay at home and enjoy the company of my parents and friends in Norway for a couple of weeks longer. I remember that I really didn't want to go home in December, and I was bored when I was at home, but just as I got used to being at home again it was time to leave.. And leaving Europe is never fun, although I absolutely love it here. I guess my heart is divided. Going home brings that to my attention anew.

Two more days now before start of term. I suppose I'll just hang around the house, I don't really have anything to do before I start, so might as well just sink as deeply into boredom as possible before the stress starts.

It's good to be back. :)

Home and Garden Show

Show people are a straaange breed... personally I feel like I've had my brain drycleaned, and after smiling for 8 hours straight two days in a row I'm feeling quite strange. My job this weekend was to shut up, look pretty, smile and take people's money. It's amazing how many completely strange and useless products that are on sale, and what is even more amazing is how extremely good these people are at selling them! Who would have thought that they ever needed a thing to glue to your phone so you don't drop it? (I guess I could have needed one at some point. ahem..) And bouncing balls on a string, or a thingamadoo that cleans your windows on the inside and outside at the same time... I felt a bit like I was trapped in infomercial tv after tv-hours, but without a remote control. Eh well, bygones. At least now I can pay the power bill.

Det er også stygt å si det, men i det minste har jeg nå bevitnet det meste av Wellington's white trash - befolkning..vil jeg tro. haha. ;p


Not such a bad idea after a weekend at the Home and Garden show... hahaha. Thank goodness they don't have any of these close to westpac. Thanx Feli - I love this picture!

Liontamer (faithless)

If you place a thing into the center of your life
That lacks the power to nourish
It will eventually poison everything that you are
And destroy you

A simple a thing as an idea
Or your perspective on yourself or the world
No one can be the source of your contempt,
It lies within, in the center.
Only with mellow while your thin enough to slide through

Don't let nothing ride you.

If the sun or the moon should keel away to die,
They would immediately go out .

One.

Swallow don't make a sound,
But tomorrow has to start somewhere.

Newspapers entertain,
Lion Tamers die in pain
This Child wise beyond words
Whose tears flow without seize

When there's no where, left to run to
Let me come to you, let me help you down
For when the world, gives you tomorrow
You're gonna learn to live again

we can learn to go,
or learn as we go

Just to live, for the day
I know it's hard, to live for the moment
Just try, anyway

------

I guess the only way to move on is to really give up. Face it, I don't have a chance.

emotions

I generally hate having crushes. Nothing has changed this time, I really hate it now too. Basically they're just major distractions, that are never acted upon, and thus lead to a massive amount of self critisism and time wasted on being spaced out, imagining that everything will have a happy ending. (gloomy, me? nooo.. never). I have sort of come to the point where I can see land, though. I know that this one too shall pass, and then life will go back to its normal self. It never fails to disappoint me though, how much of a coward I am, and how little I actually think of myself. If I wouldn't pick me, then who on earth would? All these things just make me feel homesick. And homesick I shall be... with this weather, conditions for homesickness are ideal. It's moist, not too cold, sometimes one can smell the salt from the sea.... home. Excactly like home. Predictions are that by wednesday I'll be running around the botanical garden, hugging trees and being completely delirious, longing for the mountains, the fiord, our apple trees, my family, mum's cooking, the glacier, going for rides on dad's bike, late and bright summer nights (that I won't see again till 2010, probably..) , Hansa beer, football on tv, hot afternoon showers, deneb, the big dipper, porkupines sniffing around for bugs.. ok, this is getting ridiculuos. I'm stopping now. *sigh*

unmotivated, and thinking about rugby

I'm supposed to be writing my essay, the last one for my bachelor degree, about some observation stuff that I've been doing the last week. Guess what: I'm procrastinating.. I'm still a bit surprised by the rugby results this morning, All Blacks lost 18 - 20 to France in Cardiff. But then again, how big a surprise was it really? Every game they have been playing this championship I have been thinking to myself: "wow, if they make mistakes like THAT(clumsy handling errors and bad defence.. etc) against Georgia/Portugal/whatever, how on earth will it go when they meet a socalled worthy opponent?" I guess we found out this morning. I've seen so many sad faces this morning though, and I guess I do feel sorry for them. Even I was pissed off at the ref for about 5 minutes. But then again.. it's just a game. It's not like it's soccer or anything... My team is in the lead by 7 points, with only four matches to go! YAY! Bring home the gold, boys! :) HEIA BRANN!

The Play

It seems like a long time ago now, but about two weeks ago we finished the play.

Yeah... I don't really know what more to say about it now, but.. Well, I'll be doing the next year's play as well, because it was that much fun. I reckon we did well, although we had a few mishaps, and a few distractions backstage (read: foul smelling fart, on stage humour that threw us off, etc). I think approximately 200 people came to see us, which is not THAT bad... at least not for an unknown play, in an enirely foreign language, on the other side of the world from Germany. kudos to all my co-play-people. :)

NERVES

OMG... It's the dress-rehearsal already tomorrow! After all the rehearsing, the real thing is finally here. I feel like putting the rest of my life on hold while I do the play this week, unfortunately I still have to do my readings, prepare tutorials and stuff... To all my friends: If u wanna see me this week, go to the play. I don't think I'll be able to do anything else. ^_^

Tipsy on a Tuesday night

Sometimes I wish my family was a bit more together than it is.. we're all separate entities, and sometimes I just wish that it was possible to call one phone no and have them all there. Zzzzz...
Been rehearsing HEAPS lately, I'm getting tired of having nervous breakdowns on stage, I have about 6 of them a weak! Haha, Poor old character, she is a basket case indeed. I like acting though. In a way it is nice to try out a different sort of personality. Talking to my "daughther" the other day though, I started wondering whether I might have more in common with Maria Compass than I have thought of earlier. Not sure how cool that is? Why have I got to be such a fuzzy girl...
Blablabla
I'm completely high on Imogen Heap. Can't get enougn... It's making me spaced out. And I'm in such a fase that I kkeep listening to the same songs over and over again, I just suck out all the energy in them and leave them dry when I'm done. Why do I do that? One should try to preserve beauty.. I just keep listening to the same stuff till I get bored with it and move on..
the play is taking over my nightlife, I'm dreaming about it all the time now... One day I dreamt I was in a theatre in Holland, on a beach, and the people were sooo disrespectful of the actors, and it was a small theatre where the stage was a bar-counter.. ahem. Maybe I've had a bit too many encounters with the Pinot lately...

i'm melancholic. I'm longing for something that I don't know what is. Something is missing in my life, and I just don't want to sort it out. Pathetic, isn't it? I keep feeling like this, I keep nagging about it, but I do nothing.

Spontaniety is dead

It is annoying me how all people are planning everything these days... it's become impossible to just drop in on someone because one is in the neighbourhood, or call someone up to drag them out. Everything has to be planned. People have become boring.

I'm all alone in my flat now. 5 ppl in a flat, and no one is ever at home. :(

Calm sea, smooth sailing

for once, it's been a long time since I had some time to myself now. I've been unbelievable busy since I got back from Norway. I've been balancing my studies, tutoring, acting rehearsals and social life, and to some extent I would say that I've succeeded, and I feel really content in that respect. I haven't been able to interact with all the people that I'd want to, but it's not for the lack of trying, that's for sure. So, to mark the beginning of my holiday, I'm actually going to sleep in tomorrow. The last two weekends I've been up early to do all sorts of stuff, now I finally really can allow myself to sleep in! Then I'm gonna mark the assignment that the students did this week, get that out of the way, and then go have dinner with Trong n Jo. They had better not have forgotten!!! ;)
I need to find a job ASAP so that I'll be able to move and be able to sublet my room over summer. I've just realised, if I want to sublet it I'd better not put off moving till mid November, I probably need some time to be able to find someone to take my room. If I can find someone. all these things to talk about. I've been talking to professors this week, and the professor in charge of postgrad degrees at Vic seems very positive, and I checked with my government that I would be able to receive support, and I got the answer back that it would be 'no problem'. AWESOME. The first three years are coming to an end, and I'm ready to take the next step. I really should reward myself somehow for making it, although I kinda feel like i am constantly rewarding myself just by being here, by travelling to new places and by enjoying my life. I kinda feel like a 'loner' some time though... I mean, my ex is now engaged, he has a son, and they just bought a house. Talk about moving on.. And I can't even fall in love with a decent guy. It's almost as if I'm stuck in some kind of emotional vacuum, I'm wasting my best years... haha, I'll become an old hag before long.. In a way I mean it, though.

Sweet dreams

At the moment I'm dying under pressure, and I suppose I'm going to enjoy the upcoming holiday more than I could ever imagine. Of course I'll be busy as, but that's ok, I'll have time to socialise a bit at least, I imagine.
At the mo I'm correcting essays, writing my own essay and stressing over theatre rehearsals (which I LOOOVE) and a bit over the German assignment that is due this week. Aiaaa.
But anyway, what I wanted to write about was this random dream that I had this morning. I was snoozing, and took the thing a bit too far so I actually fell asleep again for half an hour... And I had this dream about one of my fellow students that I really really do not like. It was a strange dream, I had some kind of deep and meaningful relationship with this guy, and for some reason we were fighting like mad (not physically..). And amidst all this storming, the bond between us was still so strong that we couldn't bail out. I always remember feelings in dreams, and this one gave me a feeling that I haven't felt for aaaages.. It was a feeling of sadness and fear of loosing someone, mixed with love. The kind of feeling that makes u lay down your weapons and reconcile for the benefit of the relationship. And I guess I had some benefit of the dream, when I saw him in class today, I didn't have that feeling of dislike and disrespect that I usually get. He was just another guy. Which is cool, because he hasn't ever done anything to deserve my dislike... I suppose.

well, I guess it's back to work.